Swayze, the best runner up we'll ever have

The bandwagon is filled to the brim this year. Swayze this, Swayze that. Let me not discount the man, who I officially nominate as the honorary guest for 2009, but don't let the emotion still resonating from his recent passing from this green earth sway-ze you. A fine actor, a hunk, and a hell of a singer to boot, but like the Reinholds of the past, his seemingly bulky shoulders can't carry the weight of a thanksgiving. I ask you to look past his recent vogue status, and realize that there is potential for another T(im)hA(llen)nksgiving debacle.

Below is the man with shoulders strong enough to carry us through this 2009 holiday.

Thanksgiving is an American holiday. We have forgotten that in recent years, with a Canadian man-boy, an Austrian meat-loaf, and a British fancy lad. We need to bring this holiday back to our shores, Keaton-style.

We need a man who screams home grown, but with a silent, sly, reassuring smile. Who lets us know he is a patriot, by the way he stands naked, as a cab drives away with his bath towel caught in the door. We need a man who can not only transcend generations and opinions of our fractured country, but can literally transcend time and death to speak with his son through radio waves. We need a man who can get to the literal heart of the long and Short of it. A man whose goodness and gracious, can ignite the flame that is Thanksgiving.

A man whose career spans the ups and downs of life. From the hunky teenager to the rockin' dad, he truly is a Shark. And what better waters to allow him to troll, than our 2009 Thanksgiving Extravaganza. Ladies and Gentleman, I give you my (Lowell's) 2009 nomination:

A real American hero.

Dennis Quaid