Friday, October 31, 2008

The Redemption Story of the Century

As an institution or cultural movement gains fame and influence, there comes a time when its members must pause to ask the question, what can we do to give back?  I submit that 2008 be the year that the annual T-giving Film Festival utilize its social and political clout for a greater purpose.  

On December 12, 2001, America stood still as one of our most beloved stars fell from glory to the depths of despair.  We were transfixed as this hollywood angel suffered shame and
 humiliation for her crimes; time seemed to stand still as we awaited the verdict that would decide her fate.  What would become of our beloved starlet?  Winona Ryder's arrest, trial, and conviction of shoplifting charges are events that are forever etched in our memories.  For years to come, friends will ask, strangers will inquire, lovers will question - where were you the day of Winona's crime?  

Since that fateful December afternoon at Saks Fifth Avenue, Beverly Hills, Winona Ryder has been nearly synonymous with "spoiled, Hollywood kleptomaniac".  All memory of her accomplishments seemed to be erased the day this women who reportedly earned $2.8 million for Alien: Resurrection couldn't bring herself to pay for $5,560.40 worth of designer clothing.  I ask you, the committee, is that sort of judgment fair?  Is it just?  Shouldn't a thieving actress be remembered for these cinematic accomplishments rather than for her heisting a $525 Dolce & Gabbana purse, a $1500 Gucci dress, and an $80 pair of cashmere socks? 

Cinematic Accomplishments
Before 2001 Arrest:
1. Heathers (7.3)
2. Great Balls of Fire (5.9)
3. Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael (5.5)
4. Edward Scissorhands (7.9)
5. Bram Stoker's Dracula (7.2)
6. The Crucible (6.8)
7. Alien: Resurrection (6.1)
8. Girl, Interrupted (7.0)
9. Lost Souls (4.5)

After Conviction of Grand Theft & Vandalism:
10. Mr. Deeds (5.5)
11. S1m0ne (6.2)
12. The Ten (5.4)
13. Sex and Death 101 (6.3)
14. The Last Word (6.9)

*Other possibilities: Square Dance (1987), 1969 (1988),  Mermaids, Night on Earth, The Age of Innocence, Boys, Welcome.

Let's make our nomination this year an act of salvation for the fallen and remember this talented pilferer for the cinematic roles she held over the years rather than her mistakes.  I present to you, the 2008 T-Giving committee, the nominee who has stolen my heart, will snatch yours as well, and will surely run off with the title this year....

WINONA RYDER (former shoplifter)!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

MY OFFICIAL NOMINATION by brad kester




All The Right Moves
Legend
Top Gun
The Color Of Money
Risky Business
Cocktail
Rain Man
Far and Away
Days of Thunder
Interview With The Vampire
Born on the Fourth of July

Aaaaas yoooooouu wiiiiiiiiiiish

My Friends, the time for action is now. The time for romance is now. The time for comedy is now. The time for acting at the pinnacle of possibilities is here. It is time for us to get serious and have a nomination worth his weight in accent.

My friends, I am talking about a man who we grew up idolizing, and then forgot. A man who made us laugh hilariously, and then we forgot. Isn't it time to pay our respects and honor a man who has been with us from the very beginning of our movie viewing days? He played a character that is ingrained on our minds, his name is nearly synonyms with the title of the movie. But then we forgot him. We must not deny, that when he shows up randomly in a film we weren't expecting to see him, our hearts flutter with excitement, nostalgia, and attraction. This man, my friends, is perhaps the quintessential T-giving candidate. He has a vast body of work that spans decades, yet his blip on the radar is one that is often overlooked. Never nominated for a major award, but deserving of one every time he enters screen left, or right for that matter. This man is who we have been searching for.

This man, is my (Lowell) 2008 Joey, Lowell, Lauren, & Brad Thanksgiving extravagansa Official Nomination. None other than "America's favorite Smirkccent" (that is smirk and accent perfectly harmonized together on one man's face.)

CARY ELWES




In trying to slim down the man's vast body of work, I have found an impossible task. So I will list some of the top options, but then list even further strong possibilities, as this man is a never ending possibility. The IMDB star rating accompanies the film to the right. all titles are links to their pages in case you need a refresher.

I know we have seen some of these movies, but with a belly brimming over with hot turkey and gravy? I think not.

Tops

1. Princess Bride (8.2)
2. Dracula (7.2)
3. Lady Jane (7.1)
4. Glory (8.1)
5. Robin Hood: Men in Tights (6.2)
6. Hot Shots! (6.4)
7. The Crush (5.1)
8. The Jungle Book (5.8)
9. The Chase (5.3)
10. Liar Liar (6.6)
11. Shadow of the Vampire (6.8)
12. Georgia Rule (5.8)

Possibilities (and why)
1. Pucked (a terrible looking National Lampoon movie starring JON BON JOVI!)
2. The Bride (STING is Doctor Frankenstein, are you kidding me? this has to be good)
3. Oxford Blues (Rob Lowe stars in his prime)
4. Leather Jackets (Cary is a villain in this subpar action film with Bridget Fonda)
5. Twister (no need to explain, it's that good)
6. Cradle will Rock (directed by Tim Robbins, with Bill Murray, and both Cusacks)
7. The Cat's Meow (didn't see it, but it must be amazing, Dunst is the lead)
8. Edison Force (with Justin Timberlake and LL Cool J, how can it go wrong?)

Well, there it is. Oddly enough, this nomination also would not have come to fruition without the help of one Elizabeth Warn.

I will be posting another nomination for honorary guest soon, but enough.

Elwes
Elwes
Elwes
Elwes













Elwes

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

My Official Nomination

With great pleasure, I am pleased to present my official nomination for the 2008 T-Giving Extravaganza...



Ladies and Gentelmen of the T-Giving Committee, let me introduce Mr. Keanu Reeves!!!!



And a list of potential films...
1. Point Break
2. My Own Private Idaho
3. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
4. Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey
5. The Matrix
6. The Matrix Reloaded
7. The Matrix Revolutions
8. Bram Stoker’s Dracula
9. Speed
10. A Walk in the Clouds
11. The Devil’s Advocate
12. Johnny Mnemonic

**PS: I must thank Elizabeth for this nomination as she placed him in my mind after suggesting that he would play me in a film story of my life.