Monday, September 24, 2007

The Presence and Depth We'll All Have to Wise Up to Anyway At Some Point, So Let's Be The First

Let me clear the air by saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry to Lowell for not responding to his recent blog efforts. Lowell: we all know you laid your cajones on the line as the first one to speak after a long, uncomfortable tuft in our Thanksgiving blog relationship. Now let's be men, no offense Lauren, and move past this little foul up. I'm sorry.

What we have before us is of the utmost importance. All year long we talk the talk, but now, in this season of brotherhood, thanksgiving, and decadence, it is time to show our true colors. Though Lowell's nomination was ill received I cannot deny that I have secretly yurned for Grodin's presence at the head of our table. The acting wingspan of this Sultan In A Knit Sweater is unimitable, unimaginable, unforgettable. The subtly of his bite and the brutality of his humaness make him stand head and shoulders above his competitors. Who's heart did not leap at the climax of Beethoven when he breaks through the glass ceiling (he does all his own stunts) and exclaims "Give me back my damn dog" ? Yes, Charles Grodin is such an outstanding nomination, I almost can't talk about anything else.

However, there is an emerging actor that demands recognition. Scoffers will scoff, jokers will joke, and even preachers will preach condemnation of this man's controversial films. But this actor is continually proving that he has a presence and a depth that demands the attention of a sophisticated audience. He has charmed us for years. We have watched him mature. And then he took his clothes off and won the praise of critics everywhere. He was a boy heart throb and now he is the man of the future, and I suggest we be the first to usher in his reign. Hail Daniel Radcliffe.



Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Let's Get it Started, Let's Get Retarded

As you know, I am a huge black eyed peas fan.

As you also know, the festive and most important holiday season is upon us. That is right, official nominating season begins, as always on the 19th of September, a mere 63 days away from opening festivities at the annual Joey, Lauren, Lowell, and newly added Brad Thanksgiving Extravaganza.

Perhaps this is only me, but i have very little to look forward to, so this is literally and figuratively, even imaginatively, the highlight of my year.

So I will throw a hat into the ring. I will mark the official begining. Mind you, in no way am i "pulling a slater" or "Kuffing Up" as we saw with the sad but overly eager nomination of everyone's favorite 5th place nominee Christian Slater. This is the real deal, no more "Swartzengering" around. Let us see what we can "Russell" up here by moving away from the past. Hmm, someone debonair, someone mysterious, someone, so enigmatic that vomit has never even thought of exiting their mouths, yes, this someone has been around for ages, has spanned every genre, has bantered America to ecstacy with their own talk show. I will no longer delay, but will only list a few of the winning films, then post a beauty shot of the man, the myth, the grail we seek.

Clifford
Beethoven
So I married an Axe Murderer
Midnight Run
Beethoven's 2nd
Heart and Souls
Dave
Grown-Ups
and perhaps his best work
The Great Muppet Caper

A man whose dry, yet slightly creamy sarcasm cuts this deep deserves nothing less than the spotlight, or at least the guest of honor position.



That is right, The Venerable Charles Grodin. Point, Set, Match.